looking

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  • Looking back: I had an incredible weekend with my daughters, my friend Lauri and her two sons at Esalen in Big Sur.  We took hikes, played, talked, ate, read books, did art and laughed a lot. Lauri and I traded off watching the kids while the other went to the spa or had quiet time in the meditation room.  The beauty of nature, the fresh ocean air, the organic food, two morning meditations and the incredible massages combined to make for a truly magical time.
  • Looking forward: This is officially my last week of full-time work. I am feeling very strange. I am so accustomed to orienting my life around the strong gravitational pull exerted by the demands of my job.  As I have fewer things on my desk, it becomes surprisingly difficult to evaluate the level of urgency or importance of each item — It is as though I feel the same amount of gravitational force but channelled through whatever work remains regardless of the actual urgency or importance of any particular matter. It’s ok not to do something right away if there are 15 things more important on my desk — but prioritizing a smaller list (while feeling adrift due to the lack of demand on my time) feels really unsettling.  To say it yet another way, I am accustomed to going from “have to” to “have to” during my days and I don’t yet know what to do with “choose to.”

 

 

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