grateful

This morning I am full of gratitude for the chance to rewrite my daily life. In the first month of my part-time schedule, I have felt a profound shift in how I move through the day. I am less compartmentalized, (much) more emotional, more willing to take risks, more likely to make mistakes and less likely to blame someone else for them. It is exciting, but I must confess that moving out of my comfort-zone in a number of areas has made me, not surprisingly, feel very uncomfortable a lot of the time. For as long as I can remember, I have had a very consistent feeling of tightness in my chest (like I had a brick wall instead of a sternum). Within the last few weeks, the brick wall has been absent for long stretches. Instead, I have a feeling of energy throughout my arms and legs that is intensely uncomfortable and almost painful. I’m trying not to spend too much time analyzing the sensation and to just accept that it is a sort of emotional growing pain. At some point in the coming weeks and months, I will be able to look back at this experience with some insight, but for now, I just need to lean into it.

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