Monthly Archives: January 2012


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David is 41 today. We’re getting up there. He’s 5 4.5 months older than I am, so his birthdays are a little reminder of what is around the corner for me. But 40 has been very good to me, so I’m telling 41 to bring it on. more…



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I’m sitting in the hallway outside the courtroom waiting for the judge to call us in. I was assigned to a trial yesterday afternoon and we are in the middle of void dire (i.e., the jury questioning and selection process).

In a few hours, I will know whether I am released back to normal life or whether I will be spending the next week helping to determine the fate of an accused criminal offender.

Mostly, I would be relieved not to get chosen for the jury. But there is a part of me that is also ready to embrace the opportunity to borrow another life for a week—to interact with a group of strangers, observe human behavior and to serve my community.

I don’t mean to sound like Dudley Do Right, it’s kind of a mix of novelty and altruism. I spend a lot of time tending to myself, my family, friends and clients. It sounds appealing to put some time and energy into something in which I have no self-interest.


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Yesterday was great. I wasn’t trying to solve any problems, so I was able to think and talk about places where I can take more risk, be more vulnerable and be truer to myself. I know that all sounds very conceptual, but the details behind those statements include letting go of ALWAYS trying to make the “right” decision when there really is no such thing (e.g., whether or not to buy the boots), empowering David’s career growth from a place of inspiration instead of fear, and interacting with others without trying to figure out how they are experiencing me. more…


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I am heading into my Wednesday (aka “My Mental Health Marathon”), which consists of Catalina, then Sarah, followed by picking the kids up from school and seeing them through piano lessons, homework and dinner, and then finishing up with Breck’s seminar in the evening. It’s a full day, but I love it. For various reasons, I haven’t had the full trifecta since December, so I’m curious to see how it feels in 2012. I am feeling really good and calm and grounded, so today seems like it will be more about moving forward and opening things up (as opposed to recovering or putting out fires). I’ll post an update later and let you know what the day brought.


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This week, I tried on a pair of motorcycle boots. I loved them. They were made of rich, brown leather. They smelled good. I really wanted to buy them . . . but they were expensive. So I thought about them for a couple of days, weighed the pros and cons, evaluated how they fit into my wardrobe, asked people whose opinions I trusted and then thought about them some more. Finally, I reached a decision today. But I’m not even going to tell you what it was. Because, once I made that decision, it hit me (I mean really hit me) that the terrible thing wasn’t spending too much money, on the one hand, or missing out on something I wanted, on the other hand. The tragedy was that I spent all that time thinking about boots.


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I don’t know anything about the world of sailors, captains or maritime law and tradition, but I found this article about the Costa Concordia moving. It speaks to responsibility, integrity and self-sacrifice — to holding oneself to the highest ideals and values. I am always challenging myself to “walk the talk.” I want to live with integrity. I want to be true to my values even when they run up against my convenience, security or companionship. It’s not easy to do and I definitely fail sometimes (or a lot of times), but I’d like to strive to be like the captain that doesn’t leave the sinking ship until the last passenger is safe.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the missing and dead passengers from the Costa Concordia, as well as to the survivors of what must have been a terrifying experience.


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I am about to board the plane for my 16th annual Martin Luther King weekend wih my mom, my cousin, my aunt and a collection of other female friends and relatives. Over the years we have had the opportunity to see each other through births, deaths, illnesses, marriages, divorces, and many other life changes and rites of passage. In addition to all that intense bonding, we work in shopping trips, movies, high tea and lazy mornings hanging out in our PJ’s.

The location for our weekend rotates between each of our houses. This year, we are based in Walnut Creek, so we will be taking San Francisco by storm.

I can’t wait for the festivities to begin. I’m thinking that next year it may be time to invite the next generation to join us!