Happy New Year!
I consider that my new year really started back in September when I reduced my work schedule and started my “new life.” Nonetheless, in honor of the official new year, I spent some time yesterday skimming through my journal entries from the last few months seeking inspiration for 2012.
It was comforting to see that I have made significant progress in transforming some of the big areas that were on my mind 4 months ago (e.g., my relationship with my oldest daughter, the disconnect between my mind and my body, ). However, it was also amazing to note the number of thoughts, problems or concerns that are really just repeated over and over in one form or another (e.g., worrying I can’t get everything done, feeling ineffective or helpless, fearing that I will lose people because I’m too much of this or not enough of that). It’s funny (or scary) how my brain convinces me I am accurately perceiving or assessing my circumstances, when it’s really just recycling the same old rhetoric and handing it to me in different costumes.
I copied down a quote from “The Way of Action” into my journal in early September that describes the experience of transcending those patterns:
“There is an inner sense of purpose and flow, a quiet acceptance of change and its consequent suffering, and a firm refusal to allow the mind to be stuck any longer in even its favorite beliefs and principles.”
So well said!! Now from Buddhism to astrology . . .
I also came across the notes I took in my journal during my first ever astrological chart reading in October. I’ve never been particularly interested in astrology, but Peg, the astrologer, came to my attention via a chain of referrals with such an esteemed pedigree that I just had to talk to her.
Although I had trouble following a lot of the astrological vernacular, I really enjoyed hearing Peg’s perspective on the next chapter of my life. She said that during the next few years I wouldn’t have a clear focus — that I would feel somewhat scattered as I dabbled in various pursuits — but that it would be a time for me to get more and more domestic (she even mentioned the possibility of us having a new baby in 2015 – ha! – I thought David was going to pass out when I relayed that to him).
By far, the most compelling thing about my reading was when Peg made the following statement:
“You will help others break down their barriers to intimacy.”
Those words hit me like a lightning bolt when she said them and I get chills every time I re-read them. I can’t imagine a better way to boil down who I am and what I want to do in my life.
So my “plan” for 2012 (by way of Buddha and the stars) is to unstick (I just looked it up and this is actually a word) my mind from some more of its favorite beliefs and principles as I help people (myself included) break down their barriers to intimacy.
It’s so simple! It’s a plan that I can write it down in one run-on sentence.
My pursuit of these ideals will undoubtedly prove to be anything but simple.
Stay tuned . . .