extremities

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I saw Catalina this morning (it’s self-care Wednesday!). I was planning to talk about my fear at trapeze, but we got sidetracked by a conversation about how my body reacts when my kids fight (which they seem to be doing a LOT lately). Overall, I think I have a pretty good perspective about their sibling spats (i.e., they are a necessary and even important part of my kids’ growth — learning how to interact with others, how to deal with conflict, etc.) But when the sparks really start flying, I can feel my solar plexus start to batten down the hatches and go into crisis mode.

Now that I am much more present in my body, I notice that when I’m under stress or threat (because they kids are fighting or because I’m worried about a work deadline or because I think I have disappointed someone), I can feel all the energy in my body get sucked into my abdomen. It’s as thought the air raid siren has sounded and every neuron is running for the bomb shelter. Because I have successfully been able to release the chronic tightness I used to feel in my chest and solar plexus, I am able to calm myself within a relatively short period of time once I’m past the “crisis.” But I’m really interested now in actually getting ahead of the phenomenon.

I’m really going to focus on staying present in my body over the next few days when the kids go at it. It will likely feel a bit scary or unsettling to keep my extremities fully-energized (like I am leaving myself exposed to a metaphorical punch in the gut), but I suspect it will ultimately allow me to set smarter and firmer boundaries.

Stay tuned.

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