Spring break . . . I know I was worried, but so far so good! I haven’t gone to the office at all this week and it feels very strange that I don’t have to be anywhere first thing in the morning. In fact, I feel distinctly like June Cleaver as I kiss David good-bye after breakfast and he heads to the office.
I confess that I have missed a couple of scheduled work calls in the last few days (mostly because I have had no other reason to be watching the clock), but otherwise, I have been responsive to my partners and clients as needed.
I won’t claim that I am totally at ease. I still have the voice in there asking me (several hundred times a day) if I happen to be optimizing how I am spending my time at that particular moment. But the voice is more or less background noise. I’m not exactly suppressing it, but I’m also not giving it much attention.
I’m exploring the feeling that it’s OK to be hanging out with the kids when there is work to be done AND it’s OK to be doing work when my kids are available to hang out with me. Optimizing, Schmoptimizing.
In and among all these complex feelings and deep internal experiences, I’ve also been having a lot of fun with the kids . . . swimming, high tea at the Peninsula (just the girls – super fun), epic battles playing Trouble and Disney Trivial Pursuit, a few episodes of “Bewitched,” assembling a LEGO Diagon Alley and various spontaneous (and usually messy) projects (as if to illustrate my point, as I write this, I am being imprisoned at my desk by a massive pillow fort).
I am so lucky. To quote Billy Joel “These are the days to hold on to, ’cause we won’t although we’ll want to.” (Ok. Ok. I know it’s corny to start quoting song lyrics, but it just felt so appropriate).
Now to extricate myself from this pillow fort . . .Not kidding . . . It’s going to be tricky.